Journal Entry 6/22/2004

OH, Hooray. Yahoo Mail is new and improved. And by “new and improved” they mean “slow and crappy”. I can’t get to my email. I don’t know... still got a few more "improvements" to go, huh. The “service” part of your free service ??

I lost my glasses (again) so I am typing nice and blindly. At this point the computer actually burns.

So there is this very upset cat SLAMMING MY SCREEN DOOR because I won’t let him in. You see, he has fleas. Which means that I have fleas. I took care of my fleas. And until he takes care of his, he can’t come in. I’m tired of being food to the invisible. I plan on getting him a flea collar this afternoon. I explained the whole thing to him this morning using charts and diagram, but he feigns confusion for dramatic affect. This, coupled with the repeated, confused “MEE-ooOW?” and the rejection induced screen slamming has me plagued with an eerie feeling of…is it guilt? He’s not even my cat. So here I sit with an eye-strain headache wishing you could get flea collar delivery. Somewhere, someone is having an epiphany.

So I have discovered the wonders of the Downtown Austin Farmers Market. This comes at a time of great need: I cannot sleep in on Saturdays. I wake (hangover or no) at 8:00, alive, joyous and , worst of all, chatty. That is why great appreciation is felt if I leave the house soon after waking. Usually I go to the Beatties where the adults already have 2 cups of coffee in them and the children are little zombies with tractor beam-attachments to the Saturday Morning Cartoons. But absence makes the heart grow fonder and I think it could be in my favor to reduce the frequency of my visits, as lovely and rewarding as they are. (I get free tomatoes and all the toast I can eat.)
Enter: the Downtown Austin Farmers Market.

I bought “micro-greens” from the (very cute) Oasis Farms guy. I’m not sure what they are but they were $2 and he said they would make me “strong like bull”. I bought cheese. And a school bus yellow zucchini squash. And some beets from a guy who called me “Lass”. I was not at all disappointed. As the name promises, there are Farmers. Real live ones. And you give them money and they give you stuff.
The novelty of it is intoxicating.

 

Journal Entry 6/15/2004

when I grow up I want to be a journal entry. Even if
it's just something mean like "that seela, what a
jack-ass". Then I will have fulfilled all my dreams.
but not my hopes or goals. so I'll still live on.

Fat ass jack ass cat is getting ready to vomit on my
front porch and I, the one with thumbs, feel helpless
to stop it. Do you pick up a cat that is getting
ready to hurl? NO, for the love of GOD, i think is
the answer. Not unless you want to get puked on by a
cat you don't know. And then scratched. And once
again, puked on.

Journal Entry 6/03/2004

Oh what a week...
So, Jon's drums got stolen out of his car 2 days ago.
They were beautiful drums. Red and sparkly...he got
them from Matt's dad. He's so sad. I have not seen
him laugh...as in really crack up...in what seems like
an eternity. I know he'll be fine...I know how he
feels (see journal entry where my guitar was nabbed).
I had a way too strong cup of coffee this morning and
I think I'm finally crashing. I was out of my mind
for the first hour after I drank it. Sometimes it
barely affects me at all...

I'm having trouble getting motivated. I need to work
on my press kit but I have this "i already know it's
gonna suck" feeling. I've got to snap out of it!
Last night at Mundi was fun. I was a bit of a zombie,
but it's hard not to have a good time when you're with
Southpaw and Matt.
So many friends are being so sweet. A bunch of
drummers have offered kits, cymbals..you name it- for
Jon to borrow. (they took ALL of his cymbals. Every
last one.)So many phone calls and emails of
condolences. He really loved and was very proud of
that kit. But I know he's feeling very lucky and just
as proud to have so many cool people pulling for him.
Thanks. Isn't he just the greatest guy? As Scrappy
said, "Hang in there, Greene Machine."

Journal Entry 5/20/2004

Best gig ever last night. The hole in the wall
welcomed us with a big noisy crowd and a $30 band tab.
Man, that was fun. I wound up being a 5th wheel for
the rest of the night, but i was to high off the show
to notice. The lovely Liz Pappademas
www.lizpappademas.com sat in on Hungry Kitty...If
you have not seen/heard her yet, you must!!! Simply
must! Do as i say! I really can't handle it when
people don't do what I want them to. And then there
was 4-Eyes, the best band I've ever had. How did I
get so lucky? ...anyone?

Holy Crap I have an Entire week off in June! What am
i going to do? My little sister was here last week
visiting from Rhode Island. She slept on my sofa and
ate healthy for four days. We made up for it in the
dark bars of South Austin in the evenings. I feel
like going to visit someone.

I'm out of cheese...and eggs. and cream. and blood
sausage and turkey necks. My stomach is so empty it's
eating itself. That's handy.

Journal Entry 4/20/2004

So the other day while I was sniffing glue I had this
great idea that I should get one of those suit jackets
that lights up. People would come to see that. Or
maybe I can start setting myself on fire. You can't
have too much notoriety. Some people think that all
they have to do is own a cow (and occasionally take it
for walks) in order to get written up in the paper.
Oh naivety! I say. That's a lot more work (and poop
shoveling) than just sticking a bone in your nose.
Though I have to admit even "the old bone in the nose"
is becoming cliche.

Journal Entry 3/31/2004

Have you ever been really really dirty, but you just
didn't want to take a shower? You put it off and put
it off...I am covered in sweat and dust. I'll get to
it, but later...right before the gig. It feels good
to sit around in the filth that is the evidence of my
hard work.

Ruta Maya tonight. That's a tough room. Very little
love...and it's highly conditional. But it's a big
stage and it's lit well. I think tonight we shall
rock you. Yes, let it be so.

My sister is coming to town on Saturday with her
family. This will be good. I must clean my car so
that other humans can fit in it. Right now it's just
a purse with wheels. Lots of things in there that I
"need" but can't remember why. (bungee cords,
Kleenex, pair of shoes, pink tote bag full of
magazines, leather jacket, some giant sponges...)

May first I leave the house I've lived in for three
years and move about 3 1/2 blocks away. I couldn't
have asked for better. (Except for maybe my landlord
to call and lower the rent by $300) The place is cozy
and surrounded by friends.

All will be well... On to a new chapter in my life in
Austin.

 

Journal entry 3/24/2004

Oh, Man I got a bunch of crap last night for not
tipping enough. I had a four hour gig. The tab was
huge. There's always that thing I forget about: Make
sure they see you put the money in the jar, people, or
they will assume you didn't. Even if you're a
musician and the crowd that came to hear you is the
crowd that tipped them all night long, they will give
you crap for not tipping enough. (It does not matter
that they made more money than you and they never
tipped you...ever...) And they'll tell all the other
bartenders what a crappy tipper you are in hopes to
have them gang up on you and when bartenders gang
up...well lets just say it's not pretty.

SXSW left me SXSexhausted. Maimou rocked me. Jesse
Harris did not disappoint...music, music, blah
blah...Now it's all over and my house is a mess and
I'm generally crabby.
I've become increasingly obsessed with my hair and
nails and not in a girly-fashion kind of way. More of
a compulsively weirded-out way. So if the next time
you see me I've shaved my head just smile and pretend
not to notice.
I'm going to have to move in a month. So I have not
bothered to plant anything. I'm really going to miss
this house, but I know a new place just as cozy awaits
me somewhere in South Austin. (where the birds always
sound like they're saying "What? What? What?" or "Hip
hip...hooray!") Maybe even cozier, if that's even
possible.
Does anyone know where to get Greek style yogurt
around here? Phonecia has something like it, but not
quite. I'm really craving some...with honey and
walnuts..mm..I'm hungry.

journal entry
2/11/04

Friday morning we are going to be on TV in San
Antonio! "Great Day S.A." I am absolutely terrified.
What have I gotten myself into? I sound even worse
than I look in the morning. Oh, and they're going to
interview me! Holy Crap! If that lady says, "Seela,
what an interesting name...can you tell me a little
more about your origins?" or..."so what made you want
to start a jazz band?"....or "...How old is your
drummer, he looks awfully young..." I'm going to give
myself an aneurysm trying not to roll my eyes.
Luckily, we only do one song...(Dindi, I think) and
then an outro...
These kind of things always freak me out, and then it
all works out fine and kinda fun in the end. Heck,
David Copperfield was on that show today! He didn't
freak out.

 

Journal Entry 01/07/04

The CD release was A BLAST! That was the best
audience ever. Lord help me, I was chugging beers on stage.

So we follow the SuperBowl next. How do ya like that?
Frankly, I'm terrified. Football...don't love it,
don't hate it. Hopefully the football fans won't hurt
me. The best thing would be if they loved me and did
that thing where six or seven of them lift me up and
then run around with me...that would be cool.

So, people, I have a favor to ask. One that won't
take much of your time or suck your soul too sloppily...
If you like/love/adore the new record, Hard Times Hit,
I would so greatly appreciate it if you did one of (or
all of) these three things:

1. Tell everyone you know. No, really. Tell people
it's good. Tell them to get it. Anyone in the world
has access to it via cdbaby.com. if they do a search,
they'll find me. If they go to www.cdbaby.com/seela2
then viola! there I am. Word of mouth is all I've
got, my friends. We all know the press aint helpin'
me much. (Faerie Queen!???! What the...??!!!)

2. Write a review.
Yes! It's fun and healthy and will make people love
you. Ok, well at least I'll love you. Right there on
that CD baby page is a space (kinda low and to the
left) you can click and write me a review. A few
folks have already done it (2 of them I don't even
know)

3. Call up radio stations and ask them to play it.
This is the most annoying of favors to ask. And,
really, only do it if you'd actually like to hear it
on the radio. KUT is a good place to start. John
Aeilli likes me...as does Teresa Ferguson and Jeff
McCord. KGSR...well...they want to like me. They've
been good to me with the whole promotions thing for
years, but they don't play me much. Sometimes when
you put something new out, folks play you for a few
weeks, but if the enthusiasm dies down after
that...well, you know how it goes...
Oh, and please don't call them drunk. They know.

we're getting ready to pretty up this site a bit. My good friend
Valerie Fowler is and incredible artist
(painter) and she has agreed to let us use some of her
work on the site. Her work is stunning; you guys are
going to flip out. I'm also considering starting to play electric again.
If anyone out there has a sweet, small (I have no
muscules) inexpensive amp they would like to sell or
recommend, I'm open.

peace
seela

 

Journal Entry 01/07/04

Ok, kids...big changes are coming. This whole website
is going to be re-done. There's gonna be color, POW!
and mood and intensity and Dancing Bears and Fire and
maybe a cyclops. It's gonna be BIG...HUGE. So look
out.

in the mean time, the CD release party is at the
Cactus Cafe on Jan 28th. Doors open at 8. I don't
know what the cover will be, but it'll probably be
around $6. Hope to see you there!

 

 

Journal Entry 12/11/03

My nephew and niece are just about the cutest things
in the world. And yes, I'm the wacky aunt, although
this last trip I was down right boring. It snowed
like the proverbial mofo the day after I got there.
The kind that comes down sideways. Everything was
wintery perfect out my sister's bay window.

So now I am home from the Pittsburgh suburbs only to
discover....
the new CD has arrived!!!!

Holy Cow!

And there is a big ol picture of half of my head on
the front cover. Yippie. My stepfather heard it and
thought it was so good that he was confused. ("Has
anybody else heard this?...are they just going crazy
over it?")
Cd's make great Xmas presents. Even better are Good
CD's. This one is good. I even like it and that's
saying a lot. I think it's even better than the last
one.
I spent the night in the hospital last night . Me and
jon on a tiny cot n my mom's room. Romantical,
huh?(Mom is ok, thanks. They let her out today) Now
I have a splitting headache which I earlier decided to
resolve with a Violet Crumble. that's a candy bar
I"ve been wearing the same socks for 3 days. They do
not match in color nor style, yet they harbor an
identical stench, I presume.

 

Thanksgiving 11/28/2003

Thanksgiving was lovely. Good food. Nice nap. Then
Jon played with (Scrappy) Jud Newcomb at MOMO's. Jud
has been playing there every Thursday all month. Last
night was the last one. So sad. It was nice to have
a good gig guarantee night. He'll have to get another
weekly when he gets back in town.

Finally it is chilly. My skin is peeling off and my
nose is always cold, but I like it. I'll eat those
words in about a month when Austin "winter" really
kicks in. I like to call it "The Rainy Season".

Time to make turkey everything. Time to bake to warm
up the house. These are good days.

 

Journal Entry 11/19/2003

I think I'm sick. Of course I'm sick. I have a gig
tonight and tomorrow night and the night after that
and then a 4 hour gig the night after that. Then I
have a week off. (my first whole week off since I
don't know when) So, of course I'm sick.

My friend Evan is moving away on Tuesday. I've been
after him for over a year to move. He was not happy
here. So what did he go and do? He quit his job and
now he's moving. I failed to consider that if he
moved...he wouldn't BE HERE ANYMORE. OOps. now what
am I going to do. I helped him pack today. I got to
play with a paper shredder for an hour. Very Zen.

Man, my throat feels like I ate a box of nails. I
have an appointment with Dr. Yuim, ENT. (pronounced
"Yum") on Friday. Dr. Yum looks like he's 16. And he
notices when I do something different with my hair. I
wonder what he'll say about this popping s'm hoping I
can get him to give me some Allegra D. It's the D
that makes is good, folks. It's all about the D. The
original reason for the appointment was supposed to be
so that we could schedule me for a tonsillectomy. It
requires a four week recovery. I have no idea when
I'm going to have four weeks to lay around. Oh, I
know...NEVER? Plus, I've been reading testimonials on
the internet (you know, the internet...) where folks
have commented that adult tonsillectomies can cause
"drastic changes in vocal tone"....yeah...I don't
think so. If anyone knows anything about this and
wants to give me some advise, please do. But please
note that the beginning of the sentence said "If
anyone knows anything about this..."

It's ok to drink Mundi hot chocolate on a throat made
of bleeding open sores, right?

 

---

 

Journal Entry 11/10/03

It is already SXSW application time. And I'm late
again like every year. Thank God for the Tuesday
Ruby's thing they do for folks like me. I enter
through Ruby's every year. The last possible
dead-line for all of you who can't seem to get your
butt in gear. And I get to eat black bean tacos.

I got in last year which, by the law of the land,
means I won't get in this year. But I still have to
apply.

The Tambaleo gigs are our new favorite scenario. What
a rush. We played with Red Young last week and I had
no idea what the heck I was doing half the time...it
was like being on a ride...but a good one... one
that's scary and fun at the same time. I really want
to hang on to that gig. They are so nice there and we
actually get a bit of a crowd. As long as we can keep
that up, it's ours. As soon as it drops off...they
are going to chop us into cubes and throw us in the
trash. At least that's what the contract says. Maybe
it's "dice" instead of "cube".

So there is a rumor that I have another record coming
out. I think it's true...can't be sure. I'll let you
know when I know for sure...but maybe you don't
care...but i'll let you know anyway because I care.

Hey...if you say the last Matrix and you don't like
it, let me know. I've got something for you to read
that will make it all make sense and be a better
movie. I didn't like it, then I read this thing (took
about 6 min to read...and I'm slow), then I saw the
movie again and now I think it's brilliant!

I'm going to go get something to turn into soup.

---

 

Journal Entry 10/29/03

It's so late and i'm so tired and it's been a long day
and here I am sitting in front of the computer.
Hey,I'm the first person to have this problem.

I've digressed to mixing my drinks. beer, martini and
then a shot? what am i, in high school? (Like I
drank in high school. I was so square the opportunity
never even came up.)

If i had a cat would make it amuse me now.

I"m looking forward to the Tambaleo gig. It's over a
week away...E.O. was trying to tell me something
Tuesday....why do they always speak in code? "Stop
doing what you're doing...do this." that I understand.
It's all good....(and...scene.)

a rolled up sweater is not as entertaining as a live
cat no matter how sophisticated your mind is.
goodnight.

 

Journal Entry 09/22/03

Holy Cow I've spent the last two days at the ACLfest.
What the....? That's a lot of people. The crowd
often smells the way the stage implies. For example:
The crowd at the HEB stage smelled like onions this
afternoon. The crowd at the Old '97's show at the
Capital Metro stage smelled like pot. And where did
Capital Metro get the money to sponsor that stage? No
body rides the bus! NOBODY. They are always at least
half empty...usually more! They should have spent the
money on MORE BUSES so that they could get people to
more places faster and MORE OFTEN. Then maybe people
would ride the bus. I would. Especially if it
didn't't take me an hour to get to a ten minute drive
away. Someone had to pay for that stage, though.
Rhett Miller wore his best pair of orange pants
special for the show. They rocked. I'd never seen
them live before. Did I mention them rocking? And
then they made it rain. Actually, Matt made it rain
by saying, "It's never this overcast without raining."

Tift Merrit was good, too. She's a teeny thing. Also
"Dah-veed" was good. He's teeny, too. Especially
width-wise. But my most favorite so far has to be
Craig Ross. Yes sir. That was some mighty fine
noise. And I think I've got the hots for the drummer.

I really need to practice. What is with me and
practicing? Most people just want to sit around and
play guitar all day, don't they? I have to make
myself do it. And it's not even like I don't enjoy it.
I have a rehearsal on Monday...it would be nice if I
was familiar with my own songs. The rehearsal is for
the bass player, Tom. Yup. Matt's Tom. Wahoo!
That'll be fun. I don't think he's had much time with
the material. Maybe I won't bother practicing so he
doesn't't feel bad at the rehearsal. Oh, and I also
have to write a song called "4 big rocks and a plastic
bag". Any suggestions are welcome. Just don't ask
any questions.

---

journal entry 9/3/03

It's September. How did that happen? I'm playing
Cafe Mundi tonight with Matt and Southpaw. It was a
last minute thing. Which means I just found out the
song title. SPROUT. I've got 3 hours to write a song
called SPROUT. Lordy.

I just came back from doing yoga. As much as I like
to make fun of yoga, I do like it. Especially the
poses I can actually do ( I think I'm up to three
now.) I just get freaked out when folks get really
excited about yoga. To a lot of people, it's so much
more than a form of exercises. That's great. People
get a lot out of it and they're excited about that I'm
I'm happy for them. I'm just not one of them. I just
like the stretch. And the muscles (yes, yoga can give
you muscles. Especially if currently you have none.)

So this double life thing is getting really hard. I
need a manager or a booking agent or something. I
wonder if this is how Batman feels. This is a ton of
work! And we're coming up on the season where it's
really hard to get any work. Yeesh. I'm loving doing
my own stuff again. And as dorky as some of these
titles are, they're getting my brain going. That's a
big deal. I go through a lot of trouble to avoid
using my brain.

---

journal entry 8/21/03

I'm hung over. Went to the Elephant for Happy Hour
because it was Stan's birthday. He looks good. And he
sounded great. It's just him and an acoustic guitar.
He does some of his own stuff, some covers...all very
sweet and simple and perfectly suited to his voice and
singing style.

Then I went to Ludwigs where Ephraim, Red Young and
Brannen were playing. (www.brannentemple.com) Yow!
Power punch trio. Very nice. I, for the first time
in my life, asked to sit in. It was fun, though I was
quite distracted. The audience at Ludwig's is often
off to the sides, so there's a wide open space right
infront of you. You feel like running around...or at
least I feel like running around. Miraculously, I
contained that feeling and stayed put. Hence, my
distraction. It's really hard to type when your hung
over.

I have to go pick up my Ma from cardiac rehab. She's
hooked on that cardiac stuff....All I've had to eat is
a glass of orange juice. I want a tuna sandwich, but
I don't want to open the can of tuna, drain it, mix it
up with...oh man it's a new jar of mayo! I can't open
that. No lunch for me.

The Elephant Room got a new sound system. The
speakers are in the ceiling. And there's a monitor!
Great Scott! I'm looking forward to playing there on
Sunday. Ephraim says he'll play with us. If i knew
how to make a cool punctuation smiley face, I still
wouldn't't put one right here. The're sideways for
Pete's sake!

Great, they're mowing. I'm getting out of here. I
need a sandwich.

 

---

 

08/02/03

The most wonderful of wonderful things has happened.
The day before yesterday I went into South Austin
Music to buy a capo on the way to the Momo's gig. It
was about 4:15, I still had to pick up Darwin and the
gig was at 6. While standing at the counter waiting
for something or other, I turned around and saw a
standing rack of about 6 or so Guild guitars. They
were lovely. The back of one of them (the back was
facing me) was all blond. Not something you see every
day. It had white trim....it was a one piece carved
back....yes.

I walked around to the front and I could clearly see a
star shape on the head stock from where I had put a
sparkly star sticker a year or so ago that was now
removed. I gasped. (I actually sucked in so much air
my lungs hurt) And I yelled "Oh my God! That's my
guitar!"

Yes, boys and girls. I have my Guild back. It's
sitting on the futon right now. What a happy ending!
It has never sounded better or looked prettier.

---

 

journal entry 7/28/03 Return from West coast tour with Matt the Electrician: I saw whales and hybrid plants and 4 guys with buck teeth inside a rhinoceros. I saw the ocean. I was screamed at by a one armed bartender as he sprinkled dust into a burning drink...someone had a party for me by accident. I had birthday power. I drove while others slept... I slept while others drove. I saw strange blue squishy things, I made new friends, I got purple chickens to be our friends and dance for us... you think I'm making this up, but it all really happened. I've got pictures...(of some of it) And I get to go back in a week. For more info, go to www.matttheelectrician.com.

 

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07/09/03

So the east coast matt tour was fun. I got tired and
missed my honey... but it was good and we made nice
music and folks liked us and we made new friends.
Matt didn't kill me and I didn't kill matt. Now we
leave for the west coast in just a few hours and this
time my honey comes with us. It'll be good, though
I am feeling a little unsure about some things that I
am leaving behind that are not yet done. One being my
mom is still in the hospital and I am worried about
her, but she is doing well and my sister is here to
look after her. Any prayers you have to send her way
are greatly appreciated. She has been blessed so far
and has so much more life to live.

 

I am looking forward go going to the beach and to
playing some kick butt shows with the band. I hope
all goes well and I don't over eat road side junk food
like one has a tendancy to do while on the road.
Apples are my friends. So I eat them.

 

---------------------------------------------------------

05/26/03

I'm still depressed about the guitar. I was trying to
have a good attitude, but it's not working. There's
just been too much stuff going on since February and
I'm feeling very picked on....I need to get over it.

I'm going to the fabric store! Gonna make me a dress!
That's always a good distraction. I'm getting very
excited about going on the road. This is such a
beautiful country. And the best way to see it is from
the front passenger's seat.

I'm am not getting much of a vibe concerning what this
summer holds for me. So many possibilities. I'm just
going to try to stay cool and open minded...and
remember all the ways that I have been blessed.

---------------------------------------------------------------

05/25/03

I'm getting ready to go on the road with Matt. You
can go to www.matttheelectrician.com to see where
we're going to be. It's just me and
Matt....yup...just us...in a Civic. For 2 weeks.
Most of the shows we're doing are opening slots and
short songwriter sets and what have you. So it'll be
low pressure and fun. When we get back, we've got a
two week or so break and then we go out again to the
west coast. That will be with Jon and Scrappy, also.
It should be fun. Good times. Road stories. Gettin'
drunk n' smelly.

I'm really liking singing with Matt. I like this
whole back up singer thing. It's good for me and
environmentally friendly.

I'm gonna go marinate some tofu. I'm still mourning
the loss of my Guild. So sad. But I'll be fine. If
you'd like to shoot me an email about getting
something stolen, that would be nice. I'm starting to
feel like I'm part of a club. I keep having dreams
that my house gets broken into or that my guitar isn't
really stolen at all..it's right over there....and
then I wake up and it's like dealing with the sadness
all over again. I feel a little displaced. I'm sure
it'll pass....

But if anyone sees my guitar (1975 Guild acoustic-%100
blonde except for the off white "pipping" trim around
the front) in a pawn shop, let me know.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------

05/22/03

Last night my guitar got stolen out of my car. Today
I am lonely. It was the greatest guitar in the world
and it was my friend. I wrote 3 records on that
thing. I will miss it a lot. Too sad to write more.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Journal entry 5/6/03

Can it just rain? Rain, please. What is this? Grey.
yuck. hot muggy. This isn't weather. This bites.
It's 12:30 in the afternoon and it feels like 5.
Remember those looong days in school that seemed like
they would never end? CAN IT JUST RAIN ?! I can't
stop eating when the weather gets like this. I'm
sticky and my hair feels like hay.

---

Journal entry 4/10/03

So I played cafe Mundi last night with "The Dull Edges
of the Weegie Board" or "The Shine Cone Kings" or "The
Falling Stars" or whatever you wanna call them. It
was just me and Scrappy (Judd Newcomb) and Bruce
Hughes. Thank you to those of you who came out to see
me. Jon Greene had car trouble and took foreeevver to
get there, poor thing. I was so nervous. I had to close my eyes, which was
bad cuz I haven't played guitar in so long and I need
to look at my fingers. Scrappy played with me and
that was good. He made good sounds and I wasn't
lonely. Once Jon showed up and got on stage, I really
felt like I had my backbone and I opened my eyes and
had fun. The second "set" was better. I put that in
quotes NOT as a rampant use of punctuation, but as
genuine sarcasm. 3 songs hardly a set makes. So I
did six all together. That's a big hairy deal, my
friends. I left wanting to do it again. (insert
smiley face here)

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Journal entry 3/31/03

I just came back from playing with Matt on KUT. Matt
the Electrician, that is www.matttheelectrician.com
That John Aeilli sure does get goofy. He had us play
a song twice. He wanted to hear it again after
finding out what it was about. ??!! It was better
the first time.

The big CD release is tomorrow. April first. Cactus
Cafe here in grand old Austin, TX..for those of you
who are in Spain right now. It's freeeee. and we're
playing at Jupiter Records on Friday (7pm) which is
also freeeee and will have freeeee beeeeer. I think
the Cactus show will be plenty of fun and you and all
your friends should be there.

I think I have to move. My landlord's gonna raise the
rent. I either have to move or get a job. I think
I'm qualified to smash rocks together to make smaller
rocks. I don't think they're hiring at the quarry. I
can cook. If anyone wants to pay me to make them
dinner.....I'm really good at that. You know when you
look in the fridge and there's a bunch of random
things and it's not empty enough to justify going
grocery shopping, but you still say " we don't have
any fooood!". That's when you call me and I look in
your fridge and around you kitchen and under the bed
and on the roof and I make you the best meal you've
had all year.

Either that or I'm going to have to consider a life of
crime.

A bunch (ok only 3) of TOrcH gigs got cancelled
because Ludwig's (see photo below) is no longer having
music on Tuesday and Wednesday because those are the
days everyone stays home to WATCH THE WAR ON TV and
not see live free music. I feel like I'm taking crazy
pills. So, no TOrcH for a while, unless you buy the
CD and listen to that at home cuz that's what it's for
(see: title). But our next show isn't until April
23rd at Big Red Sun. I'll let you know more about
that later.

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Journal entry 3/11/03

Sat in w/ Kevin Lovejoy tonight at Cedar Street, I
hope there is no confusion, but that guy is freakishly
talented.
and unless he has a reason to blow smoke up my ass
(ie: double dog dare...wants to date my sister, etc)
he digs my singing. Could that be cooler? I want to
record with him. I want to play with him.
Unfortunately he's in Spoon? no Fastball? I can't
remember. So he's gone a lot. on tour. playing
keyboards in a rock band. Which is a shame. A crying
shame. i like rock bands just fine, but if you ever
heard this guy play jazz, you know what I mean....no
pretension, just pure beauty. You don't even have to
like jazz to know he's damn good.... I'm so glad he
called me to sit in. I felt like I could have ruled
the world from that stage.

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journal entry march 10th 2003

I got up at 5:30 this morning to play on KGSR to
promote, announce, validate, etc our SXSW showcase.
We found out when we got there that there would be
digital video cameras there! Just what I need. A DVD
of me at 6am! The whole shebang was at the Four
Seasons or should I say the Freakin Swanky and they
had breakfast and coffee and pastries and bacon and juice
for us. It wasn't one of my better performances, but
hey, it's only live radio. The KGSR morning people
are so nice, though. They were very encouraging and
complimentary. They're professionals.
Everyone's getting their thing on for the
festival. Some are getting geared up to be annoyed
for the next 6 days, some disappointed and annoyed,
some disappointed, annoyed and drunk. There are just
so many wristband free events to go to. And most of
them have kegs. And there'll be free cigarettes,
which Andy Langer told me was his downfall last year.
He told me this as I had my second helping of free
bacon.
Matt's got some stuff going on, too, cuz he has a
new record out. Brand spankin new. (that would be
Matt Sever as in Matt the Electrician as in
www.matttheelectrician.com if you wanna know more)
Here's a picture of his head.

I'm in his band. I sing back-up, which I did before I
was in his band and he started giving me money to do
so. He's not so smart, but he's my friend and a damn
fine songwriter. Check out his website and listen to
his songs and you'll want to be his back-up singer,
too. But you can't cuz I am. so back off. Jon
(Greene) is in his band too. He plays drums. Come
see us Friday afternoon (3/14) at 4pm at Opal
Devine's. It's a party. No wristband. I'm sure
there will be free stuff. There always is.

As for us, we're doing our showcase at the Elephant.
Wouldn't you know it, the Elephant. I think I know
that place. That's the place we got fired from for
happy hours. No, no we didn't get fired, we just got
dismissed until business picks up. Nothing personal
at all. Mrs. Leni Stern is playing after us. she is
just the cutest lady you ever met. And she can play
some mean guitar chord progressions, too. Pretty
songs. So if you do happen to come to see us for
SXSW, stay and check her out.

So, this new place, Ludwig's is pretty cool. This is
what we look like in it:

Doesn't it look like a movie? We like it. They are
nice to us. We're playing there again on the 19th.
And don't let the super-swank-urban-lounge look fool
you. You can come in looking like a slob and no one
will vibe you. There's a beautiful patio, too. I
HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS AS A DATE PLACE. So all you
clue-less dudes out there....Bring you're girl to
Ludwig's! ( and woo her to the sexy, soothing sounds
of TOrcH) OK, enough of that.

I often wonder if anyone actually ever reads this
journal stuff. Let me know if you do
info@seelaworld.com I gotta know.

Everyone's getting married and having babies (or
having babies and getting married, you know who you
are). It's making me giddy and hopeful. Maybe
because I'm an idiot, or maybe because the looming war
is trying to make me depressed....If you're getting
married or having a baby or better yet, both...let me
know that, too. And don't be depressed. The world is
still a wonderful place.

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Journal entry#5 12/23/02

It's Christmas already. I say that every year...always shocked that the year is almost over. Where did it go? Did I really spend over a third of it sleeping? Has my hair has looked like this for 12 months? Is my face getting bigger?

Folks are coming to my house for Christmas dinner. I'm makin' mac and cheese!!! We'll all get bloated and then go for a walk unless it's raining...in which case we'll watch Lord of the Rings on my mom's big screen tv (please rain...!). And maybe someone will buy me that Tony Bennett cd I want...or an endless supply of socks and scotch tape. Either would be great. And then we'll eat some more and maybe make margaritas and I'll leave the dishes for tomorrow and go see who's playing at the Elephant. Or something like that. Happy and Safe Holidays everyone.

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Journal entry#4 12/11/02

The new CD is out and it looks good and it sounds good and the release party and the in-store at Waterloo (party at the Cactus) went smoothly and I had fun....now it's momentum time. Good thing it's cold out. Cold makes me perky and "go getter"-ish. I won't mention any names, but a guy who's initials are John Reidi called me unambitious and then said "not like that's a bad thing". I'm taking crazy pills, I guess. I do enjoy the hours alone in the car and the walking up to strangers CD in hand, eyes aglow with hope....Really, so far everyone who hears it, likes it. I even like it and I hate everything.

I've got the new David Grey record and the same thing is happening as when I got the old David Grey record 2 years ago. I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO IT. IT'S SOOO DAMN GOOD. It's called "new day at midnight". The only track from it that they play on the radio is "meet me on the other side" which is a horrible example of the whole record. I miss television. I don't have one and won't be getting one anytime soon, but every now and then I'd like to eat a bowl of peas in front of a good Futurama or a nice cheesy soap opera. You get some of the best one liners from soap operas. I try to use them as often as I can in daily life. "Would you like fries with that?" "Ever since you awoke from your coma and realized you were the king of San Christobel you don't seem to EVER know what I want, Reese!"

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Journal entry#3 - 10/7/02